About Loss

PUBLISHED: May 1, 2025

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author's note

This book is for those who have suffered a loss, whether from a breakup, a divorce, or the death of a loved one. It is not a self-help book, a legal book, or even a practical book. This is an emotional book about an emotional subject—losing someone you deeply love. The feelings of loss are universal. Yet, they are, at the same time, unique to each of us.

Some poems will speak to you more than others, and some will not be relatable at all. Many poems originally appeared in the book We Are No Longer a Couple, by Gary Browe, published in 1992. These poems were about a romantic breakup and comprise most of this book. Numerous poems have been added, removed, and modified from the original manuscript. Additionally, the collection now includes a small number of poems that cover the topic of the death of a loved one.

The poems are written in free verse, song lyrics, or just words on a page. Several of the poems were used in musical compositions, and these are noted in the footnotes.

Coping with loss is a messy process. I am not a trained therapist; this book is not a substitute for a therapist, doctor, or trusted friend. These poems may also trigger painful memories of your loss. Please, if you are not okay or have any thoughts of harming yourself or others, seek professional help.

Some people enjoy listening to sad songs. If you are one of these people, you will find solace here.

HEALING

No one
knows your hurt.

Your pain
is unique.

Mend your heart in your own time.
Don’t give in
to those
who say:

“You should be better by now.”

The path you choose is your own.
But say to yourself now:

“I am healing.”

Take a bath.
Find a quiet place.
Reflect.

Relive the good times, but remember
those times are past.
Others will follow.

I have learned today that I am responsible
for my own life.

I control.
I steer.
I shape.

Like a sculptor with weathered hands
into an image that is uniquely mine.

My mind is a Wild Yard
filled with unnecessary fears,
and the treasures
below the surface
are obtainable
only if I have the courage to uncover them.

I alone
can transform this Wild Yard
into a place of great beauty.

To work the land and set new goals,
knowing that if uncultivated,
I will never discover my potential.

The intimate you, I knew
so completely
so deeply
is

almost a dream now,
long ago.

A slice of life sectioned for inspection,
picked apart and scrutinized
like a captured butterfly,
it lost its wonder when it lost its life.

Now.

Now is the time to trust your feelings.
They are your best guide.

For every quest you make
and for every step you take
there is a new
horizon.

THE HEARTBREAK OF A BREAKUP

Loss

1

How
can
I
hurt
so
bad


and


feel
so
numb.

 

2

The things that were important to me
are less important to me
now that you’re gone.


I sleep.
I think of you.
I felt your impression on the pillow.
The sound of you
sleeping,
and swore you were real.


The bed’s too big.
The house - too quiet.
The turkey dinner I cooked tasted bland
without you.


I long for your body
pressed to mine for
one
final
dance.


Oh, if we could only go back
and retract the things said in anger,
or erase the day I turned away
when you needed me the most.


If I were a carpenter,
I could repair the damage of spiked words
and thoughtless moments.


It is when you love someone
so much
and you’ve been together for years.


Over time
you’ve discovered their
spots of vulnerability,


their greatest source of love
and pain.

 

3

The emotional cut of separation
is a cold-blue-steel knife
slitting my center and exposing raw
our love ending.


The pain is real.
Physical.
My hands are shaking.
I’ve lost weight.
I can’t concentrate.
I live each day just going through the motions.
Methodical.
Every step is planned, or I will fall.


And should I stumble?
I may need your help getting up.

I’m not myself right now.
Please
try to understand.


I need compassion.
I need to be nurtured.
I need your unconditional friendship,


but not your shame.

 

4

Denial:
If I can pretend long enough
that you’re coming back


maybe

I’ll get through this.

 


5

It’s okay to stake territories.


To have a feeling of
this is mine,
this is home,
this is my safe space.


The haven I’ve found here
reminds me of my room
when I was a teenager.


The place where I could be at peace,
sort out the day,
regroup.


“Oh, if only I knew then what I know now.”
the old saying goes.


I couldn’t have planned today,
or even dreamed it.


How different
real life
turns out to be from our dreams.


There have been many things
that have turned out better.
Some worse.


But today?
This ache?
No way!
Not even for a moment.


I just wasn’t prepared.

THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE

If tomorrow comes and I’m not here
don’t worry.
I am as light and unburdened as the wind
that blows through the crimson leaves
at summer’s end.


If tomorrow comes and I’m not here
don’t cry.
I’m driving south with the windows down,
listening to my favorite songs,
living between the airwaves,
singing, “Don’t worry, baby, it will be alright.”


If tomorrow comes and I’m not here
sleep soundly.
I will come to you soon in a dream.
Please, do not be frightened.
I need to see you before I journey home,
and I’ll return
in your time of need.


If tomorrow comes and I’m not here
look around.
I will be the butterfly
that lands on your steering wheel
or the Cardinal singing outside your window.
I will also show up in unexpected ways.
Perhaps sending a miracle your way
when you need it the most.


If tomorrow comes and I’m not here
hold your glass high.
Say a toast in my honor.
Hear my voice.
Visit a place where we shared time together.
Be light of heart, for life goes on.


If tomorrow comes and I’m not here
smile.
Take comfort in your friends.
Find a funny story you can tell them about me,
and tell them often.
Sing to the heavens, and I will hear you.
Sing
and we will be bound in joy.

Thank You